A few decades ago, my late husband and I welcomed our first and only child into the world. In anticipation of his arrival, we considered different names for him. I was particularly fond of the name “Jonathan” which also happened to be popular at the time. David was not quite convinced of it, so he looked up the meaning of the name in a reference book that we had. It turned out that the name meant “A gift from God”, or “A gift from heaven”, as translated from the Hebrew. That did it, and David agreed.
Jonathan has truly lived up to the expectations of being a “gift from God”. His was a childhood not of riches and ease, but of challenges and difficulties. Yet, he worked through all of that and is now a man with his own family, whom I am still more than proud to call my son. He is truly a good person.
However, he is not my only gift from God. Throughout my life, which has also been replete with significant hardship and abuse, I nevertheless (or, perhaps because of it) have been blessed with transcendent spiritual experiences which are at once breathtaking, enormously loving, informative, and overwhelming.
I realize in retrospect that I had my first experiences like this when I was a teenager in Pennsylvania. Those that were the most indescribable (yet, here I am trying to do just that-describe them) took the form of me suddenly feeling overwhelmed, with the need to be alone, but being rewarded with an extraordinary, and completely immersive, sense of Love. I had no doubt that I was receiving God.
Since I shared a bedroom with my sister, I did the only thing I could to allow the experience to happen, which was to throw myself face-down on the bed, and just be with it. This would last for several minutes.
I was a devout Catholic at the time, since I was raised in that religion. I cannot say that I was either overly concerned or analytical about these experiences back then, but I was always grateful to have them; not only for the love I felt, but for the way in which they temporarily separated me from my angst-ridden reality.
So, why a book?
I began to have extraordinary, and, I would say, more complex transcendental experiences again in the last several years or more. This time, I was more curious than I was as a teen, and I began to question the source and meaning of them.
I searched not for erudite books on the topic, but for the writings of others who might be experiencing something similar. What did they feel when they had these experiences? How did they recognize them? Did they fall into a swoon, virtually unable to move while it was happening? Were they spoken to? How did they begin? How long did the transcendence last? How did it end? Were they different, as people, when they came out of the trance, or woke up? Later on?
It turned out that the most informative writings that I could find of those who had experienced these phenomena firsthand were the Catholic saints. I recognized things that I had in common with some of them and felt particularly drawn to the medieval polymath Hildegard von Bingen; but I wanted to find someone like me-an adult lay person, unaffiliated with any religion.
I needed to find someone of Western culture, hopefully of this or a recent century, whose transcendence arose not from a prescribed religion or religious practice. The British mystic who has written several volumes on the topic, Evelyn Underhill, came close, but she was a devout and demonstrative Anglican, and I wanted a non-religious person, like me. I could find no one.
Hence, the book. My intention is to “fill the gap” in the literature in order to allow others who must, I assume, be out there, to find a kindred spirit. Transcendence does not require sainthood!
The working title is:
“Visions, Visitations and The Voice: My Intimate Journey with the Sacred.
As the title might imply, I have primarily three types of experiences: Visions in which I see something; those that I call Visitations during which I feel overwhelming love, and those in which I hear a message, from what I refer to as The Voice.
Sometimes they are combined, but I always learn from my experiences (as I like simply to refer to them). They have guided me on my journey as I try to make sense of my life, and to fulfill my purpose–now as a widow.
For as long as I continue to have them, I know that they will continue to do so.
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Please join me on my journey!
I hope that you will support me, however you can, as I complete the manuscript of my book, and write for our blog. Please also share your thoughts there.
I do look forward to hearing from you….
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