(Short Sacred Experience, Dec. 11, 2024)

It has been about a month or so since my last spiritual experience. Yesterday morning, I was sitting in my chair, watching the news. I felt the typical parasympathetic limp sensation, but it came on a little more slowly than usual. That allowed for me to recognize what was happening more easily. Then, my head went back and forth a little bit, before it drifted over to the usual right side of my head.

My therapist and I had been discussing “forgiveness” that morning. I explained to him that I was trying to forgive my late husband now, nearly five years after his death. (No need to discuss why). But this was the context of my thinking immediately prior to the entrance of the experience.

We discussed that the way I had been raised (in the Roman Catholic religion) was the background for much of my thinking about forgiveness, which is to say that I MUST forgive everyone who had ever hurt or offended me. That thinking is a lot for anyone to dislodge, but he assured me that forgiveness is actually a CHOICE, one that I am free to make, or not. Furthermore, my psychological wellbeing would not be sacrificed if I chose not to forgive.

Forgetting? That’s a different matter! But for now, that is not the focus.

To return to the transcendent experience that I was having, it took a minute or so for anything to happen. This time (atypically) I made an effort to sit quietly and wait. Then, I heard the word “Forgiveness”.

Another space of time ensued, this time longer. I remained patient. Then, my head moved back and forth on the headrest. This was new, but of course, I went along with it. The next thing I experienced, as my head slowed down and came to rest, was the Sacred saying to me “This is a holy journey for you”. Of course, I repeated it back to my Visitor. “This is a holy journey for me?” “Yes” I was told. I did that for another one or two times, because I always want confirmation that I received the message correctly. “Yes” was always the succinct reply.

My head was still resting on the right side when I came out of the trance. For several minutes, I thought about the fact that, as far as I can recall, I have never had a message from the Sacred that included the word “holy”. That was interesting all by itself.

But that was not all—what was the meaning of the full message? Was the Divine reassuring me that, indeed, I had been misled in my youth, and I am not going to experience eternal damnation if I could not forgive everyone who had ever harmed me?

What is this “holy journey” then? That will take much longer than I have here to contemplate and decipher. My strong suspicion at this point, is that this new perspective on forgiveness will also take much more time to understand and execute, if for no other reason than that I have choices to make. Whom will I forgive? Why would I forgive?

There are two answers that come immediately to mind (but they are but the tip of the proverbial iceberg). First, I will forgive those who seek forgiveness, or at least, have apologized. Second, I will forgive whoever behaved badly due to extenuating circumstances, or lack of knowledge or understanding about what they were doing.
It is all of the other offenders who require more time and thought before I can decide whether to forgive.

Ah!!

Perhaps that is my “holy journey”!